


Body Say

by loveisallyouneed21



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confused Patrick, Episode: s05e06 Rock On!, Feelings, Internalized Acephobia, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, No Smut, One Shot, Sexuality, discussion of sex, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveisallyouneed21/pseuds/loveisallyouneed21
Summary: Patrick discovers more about different types of attraction and how sexuality is a spectrum.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 10
Kudos: 65





	Body Say

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song Body Say by Demi Lovato
> 
> Story begins after Season 5 Episode 6 after “Okay this is a really long hug now.” “Just one more minute, mm-hm?”

When David and Patrick pull apart they can’t stop smiling at each other. Alexis clears her throat and says, “As happy as I am for you guys, this is also getting kind of gross, so I’m going to Ted’s,” before ducking out of the room.

David looks down at his rings, which he keeps twisting around his fingers before saying, “I don’t want to ruin this cute moment with my insecurities and I don’t want you to change your mind, but I guess I need to hear it again maybe? If you feel no need to meet up with other guys right now then why did you agree to calling Ken in the first place?” 

David looks back up to see a weird expression cross Patrick’s face; embarrassment maybe? Patrick moves to sit on Alexis’ bed and David mirrors him by sitting on his own bed.

“Well at first when Alexis was at the store I was just teasing you, like we do, and maybe enjoying seeing you jealous after my whole jealousy thing with Ted at the housewarming.” Patrick explains with a small smile. 

“Mmmkay, but you said at first. What did it turn into then?” David asks. 

Patrick sighs feeling both frustrated and grateful that David picked up on his precise wording. “I think it turned into me trying to make myself feel normal because like when you asked me if I thought Ken was attractive I said sure, but I only said that because I felt like I should be attracted to him because I’m gay and I think he is cute, but I didn’t want to like sleep with him or anything. It’s like at the housewarming party. I know Ted is handsome, but that doesn’t mean anything to me. I can recognize that I think Ted is handsome and still have zero interest in kissing him.” 

David quickly questions, “Hmmm so back to the Ted jealousy thing, you definitely were jealous of him because he was kissing me, not because you wanted to be the one kissing him? Sorry I just want to clarify because when I asked you that night you said you were jealous of both of us.”

Patrick scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah I was definitely jealous of him. I said both because I do think he’s handsome and I’m gay and I thought that’s what a normal gay guy would say - ”

David cuts Patrick off, “Hold on, we need to backpedal. What is this “normal” thing with you? There is no normal way to be gay.” 

“I don’t know. When we first started dating and I said I wanted to take things slow there was the obvious reason of all of this being new to me, but it also had to do with my views on sex I guess. With Rachel and the other girls, I only had sex with them to make them happy, not because I was interested in it. And well overtime I had learned ways to make a girl feel good, but I didn’t know how to make a guy feel good. I got worried because if the only reason we were having sex was because I wanted to make you feel good, but I couldn’t do that, then why were we even having sex. I don’t know my mind just spiraled out of control. But then when we started getting more physical and I started feeling things, it was kind of an epiphany like this is what everyone has been talking about, this is sexual attraction. I thought that epiphany further confirmed that I was gay, that it never worked with those other girls because I was only sexually attracted to guys. But then here are two guys I think are attractive but I don’t want to have sex with, so does that mean I’m not actually gay, that I’m an imposter? So then I think I’m only sexually attracted to you, but normal people aren’t only sexually attracted to one person. So does that mean I’m not homosexual, I’m David-sexual?” Patrick gasps for air, realizing he had been rambling for a quite a long time. 

David is staring at Patrick in shock. “Wow, that is a lot. You can feel all of those things and still be gay. Sexuality is a spectrum and taking on labels shouldn’t make you feel like an imposter, they should make you feel good about yourself and accepted. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not normal, but I also don’t want to assign labels to you.”

Patrick shrugs, “I wouldn’t mind hearing some of the labels you’re thinking of. Before meeting you I didn’t know anything about pansexuality. The only identities I had heard of were in the abbreviation LGBT.”

David nods, “Okay. Well the way you’re explaining your feelings makes me think you might be demisexual. Have you heard of that?” Patrick shakes his head before David continues saying, “Okay well I’m not the expert and I don’t want to explain it the wrong way so maybe we could look into this together?” 

Patrick nods and makes his way over to sit next to David, before shyly tucking his face into David’s neck. David uses one arm to wrap around Patrick and pull him in closer, pressing a kiss to his head. David uses his free hand to pull out his phone and starts researching demisexuality. 

David breaks the silence, “Okay so I did remember what it means to be demisexual; demisexuality is when someone experiences sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person.” 

Patrick sighs still feeling frustrated with himself, “But I did have a strong emotional connection with Rachel.” 

David continues, “I’m going to quote this next part: Does an emotional bond guarantee that sexual attraction will develop? Nope! Heterosexual men are sexually attracted to women, but they’re not necessarily attracted to every woman they meet. Similarly, demisexuality doesn’t mean that a demisexual person is attracted to everyone they have a deep emotional bond with.” 

David pauses but gets no reaction from Patrick. “I guess I’ll keep going. Uh this sounds helpful: If you’re demisexual, you might relate to the following feelings or scenarios: 

1\. I seldom feel sexually attracted to people I see on the street, strangers, or acquaintances.   
2\. I have felt sexually attracted to someone I was close to (such as a friend or romantic partner).   
3\. My emotional connection with someone affects whether I feel sexually attracted to them.   
4\. I’m not aroused or interested in the thought of having sex with someone I don’t know well, even if they’re aesthetically beautiful or have a pleasant personality. “

Patrick lifts his head off of David’s shoulder and looks at David before responding. “I relate to some of those:

1\. I’ve never been sexually attracted to strangers or acquaintances.  
2\. I have only felt sexually attracted to you and you are my romantic partner.   
3\. I think my emotional connection affects my sexual attraction because I wasn’t sexually attracted to you right away.   
4\. I’ve never been aroused or interested in having sex with someone I don’t know well.

I feel a bit better now, but can we keep going?” Patrick asks. 

“Of course honey. Oh this is interesting. Here are some other forms of attraction: 

• Romantic attraction: desiring a romantic relationship with someone  
• Aesthetic attraction: being attracted to someone based on how they look  
• Sensual or physical attraction: wanting to touch, hold or cuddle someone  
• Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with someone  
• Emotional attraction: wanting an emotional connection with someone

Do you identify with some of those types of attractions?” David questions. 

“Yeah definitely. I want to try and piece some things together. I think with Ted and Ken I was experiencing aesthetic attraction. I think with Rachel I was trying to force my platonic attraction towards her into romantic/sexual attraction because I thought something was wrong with me for not feeling that way about anyone.” Patrick pauses, “More importantly I think maybe I’m someone who is demisexual who specifically needs to feel romantic attraction to someone before developing sexual attraction for that person. I think I might identify as homosexual and demisexual.”

“Okay and how do you feel about that?” David wonders. 

Patrick collects his thoughts, “I feel good. You know me; I’m detail-oriented so I feel better having worked through some specifics. It’s nice to know that I’m accepted into the demisexual community. Thank you for talking through all of this with me.”

David drops his phone so he can hold Patrick’s hand. David brings their hands up and kisses the back of Patrick’s hand. “Thank you for trusting me with how you feel.”

Patrick blushes before he leans in to kiss David gently. He pulls back to whisper against David’s lips, “Thank you for showing me what right feels like.” Patrick captures David’s lips again and deepens the kiss. 

The next time Patrick pulls away from David’s lips it’s to catch his breath. David leans back in but Patrick stops his advance with a hand to his chest. “Wait, I’m trying to listen to what my body is saying.” 

David looks at Patrick confused, but waits patiently for his boyfriend to continue. 

Patrick stands up, pulling David to his feet too. Patrick wraps himself around David and whispers, “Do you hear what my body is saying it wants to do with you?” 

David smirks before saying, “I think we should take this back to your place so we can have some privacy to explore everything your body is saying.”

**Author's Note:**

> I chose the song Body Say as the title for a few reasons including that in an interview Demi Lovato says she wrote this song during a time of embracing her sexuality, which is what Patrick is doing in this story. I will admit I also chose a Demi song to make some cheesy pun, like ha-ha get it her name is Demi and Patrick is demi-sexual (yes I recognize my humor is lame). I’m happy that I wrote this story because my headcanon for a long time has been that Patrick is demisexual, but at the same time this story started as an idea for one thing and then turned into something completely different and I’m still not sure I should have posted this because I’m not sure how I feel about the final story but I am posting it anyway. Also here is the link to the article they read in case anyone is interested: https://www.healthline.com/health/demisexual#other-forms-of-attraction


End file.
